Most writers write about experiences they've had. Even in fiction, there are usually elements that can be traced back to the author's personal life. So far, I've neglected to say anything about the most important experience of my own life: my walk with Jesus Christ.
I didn't convert just because I was scared of going to hell. I first started believing because I thought it was the right and prudent thing to do. I've always been odd like that, for as long as I can remember. To be honest, I don't remember how old I was or exactly when I accepted Jesus. I do remember that it was a long time ago. Of course, being as young as I was, I couldn't understand the implications of what I'd just done. My understanding of it went something like this: I am sinful. Sin separates me from God. God provided a way for me to be with Him by sending His Son, Jesus. That was about it. Oh sure, I felt kind of bad for some of the things I'd done in the past, but I didn't figure they were really that bad. I was thankful to this strange being who forgave me of sins I didn't feel bad about, because I figured it was probably a good idea to get on His good side, just in case everything I heard about Him was true. I had no idea what it meant that He loved me, and I didn't know what it meant to love Him back.
Recently, that's been changing. I don't know when it started, exactly, but somewhere along the line I started loving God. As I get older, I realize more and more how despicable I really am, and the idea that God still loves me becomes more amazing and unbelievable. I think to truly accept Christ, you have to realize how much you fall short of anything right or good. That sounds kind of self-depreciating, but God can't work with proud people. If you don't think you need God, then you'll never want to get to know Him or love Him. That was my problem. Once I started comparing my life with Jesus', I began to realize how far from perfection I was. None of my motives were pure, none of my actions were things He would have done. Jesus was the picture of perfection in every way I looked at it, and I was the opposite of Him. The more I looked, the uglier it got.
I'll warn you upfront, it's not easy to compare your life to Christ's example, and once you begin to understand, there's no going back. You'll have to make a decision to be either with God or against Him. I still have a long way to go in my walk, but at least I'm on the best path. The only path, really. I think that may be why people view Christianity with contempt. The idea that there's only one way to God upsets some people, and understandably so. Maybe I'll talk about that next time. If you disagree with me about something, or about everything, please let me know and we can go deeper into this. See ya.
I didn't convert just because I was scared of going to hell. I first started believing because I thought it was the right and prudent thing to do. I've always been odd like that, for as long as I can remember. To be honest, I don't remember how old I was or exactly when I accepted Jesus. I do remember that it was a long time ago. Of course, being as young as I was, I couldn't understand the implications of what I'd just done. My understanding of it went something like this: I am sinful. Sin separates me from God. God provided a way for me to be with Him by sending His Son, Jesus. That was about it. Oh sure, I felt kind of bad for some of the things I'd done in the past, but I didn't figure they were really that bad. I was thankful to this strange being who forgave me of sins I didn't feel bad about, because I figured it was probably a good idea to get on His good side, just in case everything I heard about Him was true. I had no idea what it meant that He loved me, and I didn't know what it meant to love Him back.
Recently, that's been changing. I don't know when it started, exactly, but somewhere along the line I started loving God. As I get older, I realize more and more how despicable I really am, and the idea that God still loves me becomes more amazing and unbelievable. I think to truly accept Christ, you have to realize how much you fall short of anything right or good. That sounds kind of self-depreciating, but God can't work with proud people. If you don't think you need God, then you'll never want to get to know Him or love Him. That was my problem. Once I started comparing my life with Jesus', I began to realize how far from perfection I was. None of my motives were pure, none of my actions were things He would have done. Jesus was the picture of perfection in every way I looked at it, and I was the opposite of Him. The more I looked, the uglier it got.
I'll warn you upfront, it's not easy to compare your life to Christ's example, and once you begin to understand, there's no going back. You'll have to make a decision to be either with God or against Him. I still have a long way to go in my walk, but at least I'm on the best path. The only path, really. I think that may be why people view Christianity with contempt. The idea that there's only one way to God upsets some people, and understandably so. Maybe I'll talk about that next time. If you disagree with me about something, or about everything, please let me know and we can go deeper into this. See ya.
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